How to get over a someone? You sure have asked this question to people who have been through heartbreaks. One common suggestion you’d likely find is – “give it time”. But is it actually that easy? Do you really get over or learn to live with it? Here, we will find out what you can do to start your life afresh.
We all know how it feels to be heartbroken. It has happened to all of us. The thought of losing someone, you once thought was eternally yours, is not less than a turmoil. If you share an intimate relationship with someone on whom you were relying so much for the future, the situation would be a maniac.
After breakup- you will cry, care less about things and feel like connecting with your inner self. You will desperately look for answers. Things turn out to be ugly. However, getting over with someone you love is not easy, but it can be done. Whether you are being ditched or cheated on, you can try these steps to overcome your past and live a happier life.
Know how to get over a someone
You may spend most of your time thinking about your past relationship. But, all this leads to emotional overload when you are trying to over someone. Simply, not thinking about your ex will not work. During this phase, it becomes important for you to nurture your mind. This will help in diverting your mind to positivity.
Listed below are some of the effective ways that help you to get over someone you like:
1. Give yourself time
Time is the biggest factor; it heals all wounds. However, it depends on the individual how long they are taking to heal. Firstly, it is important to know that there is no prescribed time limit to get over your past relationship. People often ponder about the fact that they took several months or even years and still feel stuck. Remember, it is all okay. Do not rush moving on; take your time and grieve the loss of someone you have loved.
2. Allow yourself to indulge
When committed in a relationship with someone, you spend quite some time of yours on someone else. But, once they are out of your life, it becomes important to focus on yourself. Hence, self-care becomes important. Give yourself at least 10 minutes a day to indulge in your favorite activity, it can be writing. Allow yourself to reconnect with your inner feelings and thoughts.
3. Learn to grieve and cope up with the loss
Moving on is not easy, but it is a part of your life. Coping up with the loss helps to keep us alive. In the beginning, it feels like something inside you has died. You will feel lonely, care less about the people around you, but it is all normal. Accept the fact that you are grieving.
It might be difficult in the beginning, but this will surely make you feel better later. If you have decided to move on in your life, there is a long way ahead of you.
4. Learn to relax your mind
After a breakup, you need to grieve for some time which may lead to anger, false hopes and even depression. During this period, your emotions go around and you feel that you will never be able to get over your past. Therefore, it becomes important for you to relax. Relaxing your mind will help you think clearly and avoid those unwanted thoughts to bother you. Listen to your favorite music and indulge in the habit of reading as these activities tend to relax your mind. Inculcate the habit of meditating for an hour every day.
5. Ensure you take enough sleep
Make sure you are sleeping enough as it helps to relax your mind. Sleeping and winding off is very important for your health. But, do not take sleeping pills as they can be harmful.
6. Reduce the intake of alcohol
Drinking alcohol can have negative effects on vitamin B level. This can affect your mood and other functions of the brain. Low levels of vitamin B can even lead to depression. Vitamin B is mainly responsible for relieving stress and they play a significant role in achieving emotional balance.
7. Spend time with your loved ones
Surround yourself with your family and friends. You can always talk to them and share your inner thoughts. Focus your happiness on those who love you, rather on those who do not. Moving to the point when you are ready to date someone else is difficult, and you should not move on to this step just for your sake. Remember, with this you are hurting others by getting over your emotions.
8. Build your self-worth
Do you think it is sane too long for someone who does not think that you are worth their attention? If they are not giving their attention to you, it is always better to step back.
9. Pen down your feelings
Writing down how you are feeling calms you down. Pen down how you feel, read it for yourself and throw them away. Seeing your feelings on a piece of paper may help you to gain perspective and see things from a different point of view. Writing down the negative experiences will be a reminder and will help you recover from a relapse.
10. Discover yourself
This is the time when you can focus on yourself and discover what you want. During this time you can pick up any hobby, change your routine and be yourself. You can travel, learn a new skill such as driving, painting and focus on extra-curricular activities. While moving on, learn about yourself and your wants, so that you are clear with your instincts.
Strategies to get over someone fast
Here are some important strategies that help you to get over someone fast
1. Focus on your self-improvement
Once you have broken up, it is normal that thoughts from your past relationship can come to your mind. Distract your mind and stop giving your past relationship so much importance. Stop blaming them for everything as this will waste your energy. It will also take most of your time when you need to overcome your ex.
2. Delete everything that reminds you of your past
After break up, delete your ex from your contacts and social media. Dump all the gifts and love notes that remind you of them. Tell your family and friends not to ask about your past. Never drag their name into a conversation.
3. Change your environment, to change yourself
Breakups are stressful, but should not let yourself stuck in that situation for a long time. It is suggested to set your emotions free and start new associations as soon as possible. It is advised not to force yourself into a new life if you are distressed about the future.
4. Seek help from relationship expert
Sometimes it gets necessary to discuss your emotions and have someone who offers genuine advice to you. You can also seek advice from a relationship expert. Talk to them about how you feel, your emotional patterns and insecurities. With this, you can know how you can free yourself and develop a kind of relationship you have been looking for.
You can choose any of these above strategies and see how far you can come. Choose whatever seems feasible, and commit to it, but do not push yourself to it. All you need is to put some effort to overcome your ex.
How to get over a someone and how long does it take?
There is no prescribed timeline as to when you can overcome your ex. You need to give yourself time and analyze your situation as everybody’s relationship dynamics are different. Mentioned-below is certain factors that help you in overcoming your ex:
- How much you have been dependent on your ex
- The intensity of your relationship
- How well you behave with each other.
- Whether you understand how the relationship came to an end.
- Whether it was an on and off relationship.
How to get over a someone – why is it important to let go?
Some people are very difficult to let go of. And things get worse when the relationship has been strong. Hence, it gets more difficult to let go of and move on. Even when you accept that you should move on, it seems that you will never be able to get over someone you love.
Being rejected or unloved by someone may cause you heartbreak. Getting over your past is not easy, but it can be the best time when you can let go off things and start afresh. People will tell you to go out for a drink, start dating again and celebrate your freedom. But, you do not need any uncertainties. You need to focus on yourself into your new life. The more you try to let go, the more your brain is going to stick to reasons as to why you should not lose hope.
You can try a therapy, in which you can help in limiting patterns and belief is the ‘inner child work’. In this therapy, you trace your issues back to their origin-your past and-reviving your inner child by telling yourself that there is nothing that you should be scared of. The inner child work is helpful in releasing the limiting belief of the past, and to stop re-inventing the painful relationships of your early days.
But what is even more important is to help yourself get through in this time of transition. This process is known as ‘future self-work’. In this process, you visualize your past. Make sure you sit in a quiet place with a pen and paper. Close your eyes and visualize the best version of yourself. It is perfectly fine to imagine scary things. This process is about making yourself aware of the fact as to how your future will be.
How to get over a someone – Role of psychology
For some people, overcoming their past relationship gets difficult. This happens because they refuse to come out of their mental pattern and relate everything to the relationship. They think so much about their ex and do everything that reminds them of their ex. They restrict themselves and fail to create new connections that help them to be happy again. Also, they immerse themselves in their miseries so much that they cannot pull themselves away.
Analyzing your symptoms of classical conditioning as to how it works helps you in moving on. Imagine any film you loved the most as a child. It is obvious that while watching our favorite movie we will nostalgic. The memories would shrink every time we view it and would get bored with it. The same applies to relationships. You need to recreate the associations with your ex and certain things.
For example, if you go back to a park- a good way to remove the memories of your past. You can use that park for running 5k distance. Each time you visit the park and try to beat your record for covering a distance of 5k. Your mind will automatically associate the park with running rather than with your ex. For every positive experience, you connect with that place, the suffering would decrease. Your new memories will take place and gradually you do not make any association with your ex. With passing time, you seem to overcome your ex and you no longer make recognitions with your ex. You will overcome your ex as you think less about them. This will help you further in moving on in your life.
You would never able to completely get over your ex who has once been so important, for sure. Your ex may always have a special place in your memories. It also depends on the intensity and duration of your relationship and the situation of how it ended. Moreover, it depends on you and circumstances, how well you can cope up with your emotions.
It is advised to allow yourself some time and space. You will eventually feel better and complete once again. Meet new people and explore yourself, you will surely get over your past. Just give yourself time and never lose hope.